Surround yourself with positive people

This is a guest post from my wife, Brooke. We had a conversation about this and I encouraged her to write about it for this blog. Thanks, honey!

This does not mean to surround yourself with people who don’t have any problems.

For example, on New Year’s Eve, I was at a party with a friend who recently lost her father. I hadn’t seen her since she had traveled to the funeral. When she talked about it, she teared up. I hugged her. There was that moment where I didn’t know what to say, but it passed. We started laughing about good times she had with her dad and then just laughing about funny stuff that was happening at the party. Another friend was there, whose in-laws recently moved closer because of a health crisis. She has added a lot of shuttling to and from the doctor’s office and the nursing home to her already full plate. We talked about her new concerns, but mostly we talked about our kids…and got cracked up a lot.

Then, today, I was at Target, picking up the strange Target-esque hodge-podge of organic milk and laundry detergent; Spiderman underwear and a really cute melamine valentine plate I couldn’t pass up. As I headed toward the check-out, I saw a woman I know from an organization I am a part of. She is often outspoken, rarely happy and always stressed out. Because of the outspoken part, I know she doesn’t like to run in to people at the store and have to talk. So, I smiled as I walked past her and decided she could initiate the conversation if she wanted to. She did. I asked her how she was doing. She sighed. “Oh, you know, crazy. I’m doing this. Then I have to go to Wal-Mart and Sams.” I was waiting for the “crazy” part. She was without her two kids, so those didn’t really seem like insurmountable tasks, but you wouldn’t know it from her tone. My response to the same question was of course, “fine!” I asked her how Christmas had been. “Oh, a whirl. You know. The kids got more toys. They don’t need more toys.” To her credit, when she finished her Christmas tirade, she did ask me about my appendectomy. She had seen me at our last meeting but I was “mobbed” with people around me and she was “in a hurry.” I assured her I was fine. Then, let her get back to her shopping.

Now, some folks would say she was just honest. But, if that’s true…and shopping is really that much of an effort, well, that’s just sad. Why would you want to be honest about that? And some folks would say, “what’s the point of asking a person how they are if they just say ‘fine’ no matter what?” Well, I recall another time at Target when I saw someone who asked me how I was doing and I honestly answered, “Um, I just had my appendix out” because I was sitting by the pharmacy with cotton balls and medical tape running up my arm. But, what casual acquaintance really wants to know that I have a gyn appointment next week? Or that actually it was kind of a bummer that the latches on the Mazda’s rear doors were recalled so we had to take it in for those which were free but it turned out we also needed two new tires which were not free? Now, my friends that I was laughing with on New Year’s Eve…they might be interested. Because it could probably lead to a funny story.

So, I inwardly shook my head that some folks can be so consistently negative and continued to the check-out. I do feel sorry for people who don’t seem to get any enjoyment out of life. If only they could realize how good they have it! How sad for them! But, no where in the Good Book does it say I have to surround myself with those people. I choose people who have problems, real problems…and a positive outlook and great sense of humor to go with them.