Strive to be Happy

Today marks the end of the Desiderata Project. The final word goes to Mel Kaye from Attitude, The Ultimate Power. Thanks to all my guest bloggers for your participation!

I have chosen to write an article on “Strive to be Happy.” Since choosing this topic, “Be Cheerful” has been added. Now in my opinion “cheerful” and “happy” do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. However, they will be connected in this article.

For those of you have read my blog “Attitude, the Ultimate Power,’ aka “Monday Morning Power,” know that I have spent a lot of time discussing happiness and I have some very definite opinions on the subject.

Let’s start with the requested premise of “Strive to be Happy.” This statement conjures up a journey (a quest) with happiness as the end reward for a successful journey’s end; in other words a successful result. If happiness is the reward for successfully completing the journey then that journey, will more times than not, end in disaster. After all, not every journey is successful. I talk at length about this in Happiness Vs. Human Nature. The journey, or the “striving for,” is far closer related to one of the basic tenant of human nature, which is “not being satisfied,” than it is to “happiness.”

On the surface, not being satisfied seems to be selfish; a negative connotation. However, not being satisfied, which fuels the “striving” in human nature is actually a good thing, a very good thing. If it wasn’t for our basic dissatisfaction with what we have, the constant desire to have “more”, where would we be today? Without the desire for “more” there would never have been any inventions, discoveries, cures, art, etc. Where we usually go wrong is when we tie this concept of “more” to happiness.

Happiness must never be tied to human nature or else we are destined to be unhappy. I also wrote a piece on this subject “Happiness Made Simple”. We must learn to never qualify happiness. I am an absolute firm believer that happiness is a decision; that we can choose to be happy. I absolutely believe that anyone, anywhere, in any economic condition, in any health condition, with few exceptions, can choose to be happy. Why should the billionaire be any happier than the pauper? In fact, I bet there are, in relative terms, more happy paupers than happy billionaires. Sometimes it just get’s down to “I’m happy to be alive.”

Now, to get back to the differences and ties between “happiness” and “human nature;” I have tried to sum this up in an original quote, “Human nature is what drives us; happiness is what sustains us.” Think of two perpendicular lines, one vertical (pointing up) and the other horizontal (pointing sideways.) The one pointing up represents human nature, a constant up-hill battle to achieve. The one pointing sideways represents happiness. We have the ability to maximize happiness no matter where we are on the vertical line, by the simple process of choice. What makes choosing happiness simple is another very important concept called “Gratitude.”

By simply being grateful for what we have, no matter how much or how little, the choice to be happy comes so much easier. “Gratitude” is probably an entire article in itself. So for now, let’s just accept gratitude on face value. One of my favorite posts is the “Gratitude Dance.”

As a species, we have an innate ability to over complicate everything. Unfortunately, not everyone has the ability to understand the simplicity of choice; now that’s not to say that choice is simple. We all have those inner voices that keep trying to drag us down, to influence us to make the wrong choices. Without getting to far off topic, I am posting an entire series on how to quiet your inner demons called “The Process - “Are You Prepared for Success?”.” I am also a huge fan of the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” (Music Videos - Positive Attitude / Feel Good.) Don’t worry, be happy is a choice. One has to have to right internal frame of mind to be able to make that choice; the choice between “worrying” and “happiness.” Again, I have written an entire series on that frame of mind; The Process - “Are You Prepared for Success?”

In order for me to best understand what my real choices are, my constant companion is Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Pledge: “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” If we can apply this in everything we do, the ability to choose happiness becomes a lot easier.

As I said in the beginning of this article I was going to connect “cheerful” with “happy.” I see “cheerful” as an outward manifestation of being happy. This brings me to another important concept: “Happiness is a Moral Obligation.” With few exceptions, happy people make this world a better place and unhappy people make it worse. Let me ask you; how do you feel when you are around a happy person? How do you feel when you are around an unhappy person? See what happens around you if you choose to be happy, expressing cheerfulness. Even if you fake it, it becomes contagious and before you know it, you are actually feeling happy. Why are you feeling happy? You are happy, because you have made the choice to be living in the moment.

Let’s see if I can tie all of this together into a clear bullet-point summary/conclusion.

• Happiness should never be connected to a result or a condition.

• Happiness is a choice.

• Happiness comes easier when it is based in “gratitude.”

• Happiness is also living in the moment.

• Happiness is a moral obligation.

Keep Peace in Your Soul

We are entering our last few days of the Desiderata Project. It has been a wonderful experience. Today we welcome Priscilla Palmer as today’s guest writer.

Before I begin I’d like to say that I refer to God in this article, if you do not believe in God please feel free to substitute your own theory (The Universe, outside forces, or whatever else fits your beliefs.)

Please enjoy.

“And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, Keep peace in your soul.” -Max Ehrmann (in Desiderata)

As we pursue the development of ourselves, we realize that each of us has certain and unique aspirations in life; and these desires all stem from a place within our souls where we dare to be great. Where there is no fear, no second guessing - You see, from this place in our soul no one can tell us no. No one can tell us we can’t do that because, it’s inside of us, and it’s individual to us. It is born of the deepest part of ourselves.

If you have read much of my writing you know that I stress often that “We are all born with a unique purpose”, we each have a mission that only we can accomplish. Our desires in life are the road signs that point us to our destination, on our own personal “mission map”.

It is our job to bring into focus what our desires are. We must acknowledge these desires. Then once we know what we want, we must create a picture (a vision) in our minds, of exactly what our desires will look like once we possess them. This vision should be so crystal clear that we know with every fiber of our being what it feels like to possess it. We know what it smells like, what it tastes like, and even what it sounds like.

Once we have this picture in mind our job is then to focus. Our focus should be so sharp that nothing can interfere. Have you ever had a day that went so well that you felt you were on top of the world? That nothing - no matter what - Could bring you down. When in this state you are so happy, so excited that all you see is the reason (the thing) that you are excited about. This is where you need to strive to be every single day of your life, with your desire as the reason for your bliss.

It doesn’t matter if you already possess your desire or not because, when you let go and move toward that thing “as if you already possess it”, then you bring that desire into your possession. This is how the world works, not the other way around. It is this understanding that makes the successful - Successful; and it is the lack of this understanding -that causes the mediocre to remain in mediocrity.

When I first got a glimpse of this concept I had a hard time believing it. If you are in the same boat, I challenge you to do as I did and look around you. Look at the successful people, talk to them if you can, and listen (really listen) to what they say. You will find out that these are the facts. These are the truths in life that are hidden from the many. There are out there, they are real, they are just not always accepted and their lack of acceptance will only harm the ones who refuse to accept them.

You may be wondering at this point where our labors come in. Let me tell you that when you form this “crystal clear” vision in your mind of the “thing/s” you really want, the “how” will make itself apparent. At that point you must take action. Our vision will give us the tools, it will give us the direction and by holding that vision in mind the way will appear.

How do you take action? Well let me tell you - If you have created your vision from your true desires, from that place in you in the depths of your soul… Nothing will be able to stop you from taking the action you need to take because, you see what you want. The way to get it has made itself clear and you will walk right around anyone or anything that tries to get in your way.

Notice that I said you will walk “around”; you do not have to step “on” anyone in this process. You know why? Because when you get on the path that leads you to your mission in life everyone else around you will be on their own mission that - is in line with yours. The people who are in your way are only there because they have not yet figured out what their own mission is yet.

We all have our own mission and it is our divine right to achieve it. It is our destiny and nothing and no one can stop you. No one can! We are born onto this earth to achieve it. So, your job is not to worry about whether or not you can do it. That’s already predetermined! Your only job is to create that picture in your mind by listening to your heart and visualizing what you want and- Holding that vision as a constant in your mind.

No matter what happens in life, no matter the “noise” and “confusion” that happens around you, your job is only to do what it is you are here to do. Nothing else is of your concern.

Does that mean that all the troubles in the world are unimportant? No, that’s not what this means. What this means is that all the other troubles in the world that you cannot do anything about anyway are not yours to be concerned about. This is when we are to “Let go and let God!” Take care of what you can take care of, what you are meant to take care of and let everything else go.

If there is a “cause” that your heart goes out to and you can help - Great! Please do. The world will be better for it but, if you cannot do anything about it anyway then, let it go. Worry is futile. It will do no good. In fact, worry can and will hurt you!

I was listening to a recording the other day of a talk given by Guy Finley and in this talk Guy says to “Place your troubles in the light of Greatness!” What an awesome statement that is. When we have a problem we can’t solve, when we are frustrated, agitated or even angered by the actions of other people, we don’t have to solve these problems. At these times all we have to do is “put these problems in the light of greatness”.

The next time you find yourself upset I want you to try something for me. Close your eyes and see yourself doing whatever it is that you desire, then see the problems that are causing you pain and imagine putting them into a box. Now, envision yourself taking that box now wrapped up like a present and setting it down in “the light of greatness.”

“Let go and let God!” Your job is to achieve your desires; everything else is up to him.

Knowing God

 Today, I get to make my own contribution to the Desiderata Project.  I got to reserve my favorite section for myself.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.

I’m a Baptist married to a Catholic. I’m cool with both methods of worship.  Automatically, that puts me in a bit of a different category than most people of faith.  So many people that I’ve encountered believe that there is only one way to know God. Only one version of God… and they are the only one who can truly tell you about Him.  They are the only one who knows the special trick you have to do in order to have access to God.  Listen to me, they say, and I will introduce you to God.

My image of God is influenced by the fact that I spent my formative years in a Baptist church.  My parents and grandparents were sort of “charter members” of a church that formed in my hometown, and I spent a lot of time there.  The soundtrack of my preschool years is made up of traditional hymns and Southern Gospel music.  Blessed Assurance, Just As I Am, Oh How I Love Jesus? So how I “conceive Him to be” is in the image of Jesus, knocking at the door to my heart.

I’m an Evangelical Christian, though I shudder at the connotations that label has in our country today. I want people to know God, and I am active through my church in trying to introduce people to God through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I want people to know that God that I know… the one who loves me enough to forgive me for all of the stupid stuff that I do and wants to help me be more like Him.

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:17) The God that I know is more interested in saving people than condemning them.  But again, I seem to be a little bit different than other folks in my particular faith tradition.  A lot of those people spend more time putting little “Marriage = Man + Woman” bumper stickers on their car and the like.  That’s not for me.  My faith tends to focus on what I can do to be a better person and to make life better for other people.  I don’t spend a lot of time trying to condemn other people in God’s name. I just don’t think that’s my job.

It’s amazing that we can all have such a different impression of God. I won’t even get into different religions today, beyond just to say that I am happy when people connect to God in any way that works for them.  If a person connects with God as a Muslim, Buddhist, or Wiccan… I am cool with that.  I just want everyone to encounter God, to touch Him, to be close to Him, no matter what path they choose to take.

I believe that God is big enough to be experienced in a variety of ways.  I think maybe that’s why we all see Him so differently.  Maybe we’re all just discovering different aspects of Him that He’s choosing to reveal to us.  It sort of reminds me of the story of The Blind Men and the Elephant.  We only know God through what we’ve actually felt in our lives.

If it’s been a while since you’ve felt God’s presence in your life, I hope you’ll take some time to look for Him. Then maybe you can tell me and others how you “conceive Him to be.” That way, we can all come to know Him more fully.

Image from The Visual Church Blog 

A Perfect Universe: The Tao of Desiderata

This guest post was written by Carol L. Skolnick of Clear Life Solutions.

“And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should”

—From Desiderata 

 

“Open yourself to the Tao,

then trust your natural responses;

and everything will fall into place.”              

—Tao Te Ching, Verse 23

Albert Einstein is said to have told a reporter, “I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.” 

Einstein likely felt this question was so important because he knew that to believe in an unfriendly universe is to be at war with it. Einstein was all about understanding and working with, not against, what is.

The literature of spiritual wisdom from time immemorial points to this peaceful viewpoint as well, perhaps most significantly, the classic Chinese text, Tao Te Ching (”The Way”) of Lao-Tzu, said to be a sixth-century contemporary of Confucius. In the 1920s, Max Erhmann, a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana, wrote the prose poem Desiderata, which was rediscovered and popularized by anti-war activists in the 1960s. The line, ”no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should” crystalizes the message of Desiderata and is an echo of the Tao’s wisdom. It is a reminder that we live in a perfect world, as long as we do not dwell in what Erhmann calls our “dark imaginings.”

More recently, my mentor Byron Katie has expounded on the real-life application of this simple wisdom in her book, A Thousand Names for Joy:  Living in Harmony with The Way Things Are. In this book, the Tao and “the Now” are translated into “the How.” “The universe is perfect” is a concept until and unless it is experienced. The good news is that it can indeed be experienced, by questioning the “dark imaginings” that, believed, give rise to suffering.

In A Thousand Names for Joy, Katie writes:

“The burglars have taken my money, my jewelry, the television, the stereo, my CD collection, appliances, computers; they’ve left just the furniture and some clothing. The house has a clean Zen look. I go through the rooms and see that this possession is gone, that one is gone. There’s no sense of loss or violation. On the contrary, I picture the recipients and feel what joy these items will bring them…. My gratitude comes from the obvious lack of need for each item. How do I know I don’t need it? It’s gone. Why is my life better without it? That’s easy: my life is simpler now. The items now belong to the burglars, they obviously needed the items more than I did; that’s how the universe works…. I find it odd that the way of the world is to try to retrieve what is no longer ours, and yet I understand it. Filling out the police report is also the way of it. If the items are found, I’m ready to welcome them back. And because they are never found, I understand that the shift in ownership is the best thing for the world, for me, and for the burglars.”

Whatever happens—whether it is a birth or a death…war or peace…that ship finally coming in, or a business in ruins…a life lived with a soul mate, or in solitude—we can know that the universe is unfolding as it should because it is unfolding as it does; what is, is. When we believe that the universe is not unfolding as it should, we are arguing with God, reality, what is…and this does not make for a happy life. 

This doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing; Erhmann’s message to “go placidly” is not at odds with being proactive and productive in our personal lives, or with social justice. It is not about being aloof, or a victim. It is, like the Tao Te Ching, an invitation to expand our awareness, to strive for clarity within, to open our eyes to the natural flow of things, to see reality in between and beyond the pairs of opposites, and to become the Taoist Master who lives in perfect harmony with a perfect world.

“There’s no mistake in the universe. 

It’s not possible to have the concept ‘mistake’ unless you’re comparing what is with what isn’t. 

WIthout the story in your mind, it’s all perfect.” 

—Byron Katie, A Thousand Names for Joy

Helpful Links:

“Would Einstein Have Dug The Work?” http://soulsurgery.blogspot.com/2007/05/would-einstein-have-dug-work.html

“Reality Is Good,,,Is That True?” http://soulsurgery.blogspot.com/2007/09/reality-is-goodis-that-true.html

“Book Review: The Tao Te Byron Katie” http://soulsurgery.blogspot.com/2006/12/book-review-tao-te-byron-katie.html

©2007 by Carol L. Skolnick; all rights reserved.

Carol L. Skolnick, M.A., Clear Life Solutions, is a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, a simple yet radically effective way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. In addition to her private practice, Carol trains and mentors facilitators of The Work, and offers products and services to apply and deepen the practice this transformational process of inquiry. For more information, visit ClearLifeSolutions.com, and Carol’s informative and entertaining blog, Soul Surgery (http://soulsurgery.blogspot.com).

If You’re Working Too Hard, You’re Doing It Wrong!

Today’s post in the Desiderata Project was written by Jean of Cheerful Monk.

If you’re working too hard, you’re doing it wrong!
Swimming is a lazy sport.
—A great teacher of swimming…and of life

I can’t remember her name, but I will never forget her. It was my
second quarter of swimming at Stanford University. At that time we
all had to take two quarters of Physical Education, and the first
quarter almost turned me against swimming for life. The teacher was
looking for perfection and was critical of everything we did. But I
had always loved being in the water, thrashing around and calling it
swimming. I could be turning blue with cold when I was a kid and
would steadfastly deny it. I didn’t get much chance to swim and I was
going to make the most of it.

So I signed up for another quarter and hoped for the best. And I got
it. This teacher’s aim was to teach us to trust the water. She
taught us to float…not in the usual way, lying on our backs…but by
walking across the deep end of the pool, our heads safely out of the
water. She showed us that if we made gentle arm and leg motions, we
could easily reach the other side of the pool. The water, indeed, did
hold us up. I can’t remember what we did the rest of the quarter…I
do know it was fun and there was no worry about doing the crawl
correctly. We could swim anyway that worked for us. The main thing
was to enjoy the process. Since then I’ve swum thousands of miles,
using my own unique stroke…with my head out of the water and my
glasses on.

I’ve been thinking of that a lot the past few weeks. Some
self-development blogs have been discussing what a struggle it is to
change ourselves. My instinctive reaction is, “If you’re working too
hard, you’re doing it wrong!” The first rule of behavior modification
is to love and accept yourself the way you are. That doesn’t mean
there aren’t things you’d like to change, but if you’re fighting
yourself it’s just like swimming. Fighting the water is
counterproductive. You’re wasting your energy. Stop thrashing
around. Be gentle.

I believe that’s what Max Erhmann was saying when he wrote, “You are a
child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a
right to be here.” And like all creatures, you’re always changing.
Don’t criticize the bud because it’s still unfolding and not yet a
flower. Give yourself room to grow. It’s all right to guide your own
growth, but do it with love and respect. For me, at least, it’s a
sacred process.

Be gentle with yourself

Join me in welcoming today’s guest blogger, Darlene Siddons from Spirited Boutique.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

Be gentle with yourself. 

My first introduction to a wholesome discipline was when I was listening to
Stuart Wilde’s tape series called Infinite Self on my commute each day to
and from work. I learnt about doing my daily functions in a sacred manner –
another way it could be said is prayerfully. When I started doing this I had
to remind myself to make my movements and moments sacred and not
hurried. Slow and reverent, as each thing we do everyday, all day, are things
of joy and pleasure. When we/I “get” there, our life is a song – cool, peaceful
and tranquil.

Discipline is also know as taming the ego – so I learnt to do even the most
mundane functions (dusting, dishes, taking out the trash, vacuuming) with
detailed methodical sacredness, the joy of being able to them and the joy of
doing them well.

One of my friends called me high maintenance for many years, and then one
day she came over and I was getting ready and I said, yes, I know, I am high
maintenance and it takes me a long time to get to getting ready and she said
no, I have come to the realization you live a disciplined life and I honor you
for it and would like my life to look like that also….what a gift!!!!

My life prior to this was hurried and impatient, the mundane things had to
be done and putting them off until I was disgusted with myself and then, of
course, not at all mentally gentle with myself – can you hear this? Today my
life is smooth and easy, and even when there is turmoil it isn’t chaotic, it just
isn’t as smooth as usual.

I even found a career that was excruciating to my being – that eventually it
brought me to my knees and I had to look at my life if I was to survive – and
that is when I found Sty and/or his material found me. At this point my life
took another 180-degree turn. I had already been doing 4 or 5 other 180-
degree turns, however, this one was my true spiritual path turn, not just my
“getting” on the path turn.

The discipline was much easier for me than the being gentle with myself. As
that meant loving myself, and that meant forgiving myself for all of my
private thoughts and secrets I had that no one new about. So that was a
biggie for me, however, I found that as you practice sacred movements your
live becomes sacred and your life becomes wholesome discipline and those
personal secrets just seem to go away because you are living in love. AND
there it is- that magic word of love – that is what it really, really is all about –
Love – Love of everyone, Love of everything, Love of everywhere – and from
this place of Love – all else that creates conflict or dis-ease falls away and all
that is left is pure white light – Love.

Overcome fatigue and loneliness

Today’s guest blogger is Gyanish Gungaram of Diethack. We are entering the “home stretch” of the Desiderata Series. Thanks to everyone for your participation.

 Solitude is the playfield of Satan. - Pale Fire, 1962. - Vladimir Nabokov

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. I’m sure most of you must have experienced this at one time of their life. I’ve done so many times because I’m living alone in a foreign country with no close ones nearby. As the loneliness creeps in and you start to feel the fatigue of the day to day stress, you start feeling that you will not be able to cope further with this kind of life. You start to feel all kinds of fears overwhelming you. Fear of not waking up in time next day, fear of maldiagnosing a patient due to stress (I’m a med student), fear of not eating well, fear of not being prepared in time for the exams, fear of loneliness (when you do not have a partner) and other kinds of fears. I’m a practical person and for me and I believe in simple practical solutions to overcome the distress caused by fears. Here are five tips I use to get rid of my fears:

1. Music: Everytime I return from work, I listen to music. For me a song from Coldplay or James Blunt always boost up my mood ultimately.
2. Exercise: Nothing beats a good pushup to get rid of your fear. The adrenaline you generate during a good sweat tends to disrupt the tension of your body and make you more relax. So take to the road when you feel the fear creeping on you.
3. Positive Attitude: Although I’m a practical person, I consider harnessing a positive attitude a weapon against fear. Not everybody can shake off fear with a positive attitude but if you manage this feat, you will find yourself less and less fearful.
4. Stress your mind: Sometimes a good dose of stress can cause wonder to your body. Have you ever noticed that you are worrying about something and when you start doing other things, you tend to forget about the things you were worrying about. So when you start to feel the fear coming, shake it off by concentrating on other tasks.
5. Smile and Laugh: K. Stone has written extensively on this subject but I would like to make a special mention of it. Laughing and smiling do have an effect on your overall mood and attitude. They tend to relax the facial muscles and thus provoke a feeling of contentment and joy inside of you. So smile away to get rid of the fear.

Getting rid of fear is never easy. But once you managed to make it disappear even for a few minutes, then you will be able to further push it away.

Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings

Today’s guest blogger in the Desiderata Series is David from How to Have Great Self Confidence.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings

I cannot say I’ve ever used the term “dark imaginings” before. However I have said – to myself amongst others - “stop worrying”. The word worry though doesn’t sound too bad – it’s almost a nice word.

The definition of worry is darker – “to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts” (dictionary.com). Torment is a good definition. I tend to tell clients that worrying is like pouring petrol (gasoline) on a bonfire. It doesn’t achieve anything, but makes us feel worse.

Worrying is not problem solving. When we worry thoughts turn round and round in our mind. Our self talk gets more entrenched and negative. We forget that thinking is not reality. We lose any sense of perspective.

Many worries are trivial and have their roots in our irrational thought processes. For instance, many people may praise you for something – but you worry about what the one critical voice said. We can magnify problems, and minimize what is great about our life. We worry about what others think of us. We worry about events ahead when currently there is absolutely nothing we can do.

Why do we have these “dark imaginings”- we don’t choose to have them? Worries are automatic thoughts. Throughout our life we take on board millions of messages from those around us, and sadly most of us get more negative that positive – how many children get told to talk more or make more mess?!! This sets up the habit for our mind to take on negative perspective as we get older. This negativity feeds our automatic thoughts, giving us negative self talk – WORRY!

How do we stop worry? One method is to simply tell yourself a mental “NO”. Don’t analyze what you’re worrying about, just say no and switch your attention to something else. Some try clapping hands, or flicking their wrists with elastic bands, as a way of reinforcing that switch off.

The other technique is problem solving. Write down the worry on paper, and clarify what the problem actually is. You may find that there isn’t really a problem when you try to express it in black and white. Once defined, you can start thinking about possible solutions.

Get writing. The best way is to write everything down, without editing as you go.

Depending on the magnitude and complexity of the problem you may then choose to go through some of the better solutions and list pros and cons. Or it may be that by just writing out possibilities, the correct solution and course of action is obvious to you.

Whatever happens, your problem solving needs to come up with a plan of action – even if that plan is to do nothing or look at the problem again at some future date. It may be now is not the best time, or you may need more time to discuss the problem with others or research other possible solutions.

By looking at the problem in this way you can at least respond to your worries with a concrete positive answer. If your worry is indeed “what if the sun doesn’t come back”, a positive response would be -”If it doesn’t come back there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, so I might as well enjoy it setting whilst it lasts….”

Nurture strength of spirit

Today’s guest blogger is Modern Worker.  Thanks for your participation in the Desiderata Project!

“Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.”

Nurture - To care for.
Strength - Power to withstand challenge.
Spirit - Indomitable personality.
Shield - To protect and ward off damage.
Sudden - Without warning.
Misfortune - Undesirable happenings.
To me, the quote speaks volumes of the power that each one of us have deep within our own souls. The power, specifically to overcome all odds. Granted, life is full of challenges, but they are there to test our integrity. And integrity, my friends, is sometimes all we have.

A good friend of mine had come down with a fairly serious disease a while back, through no fault of his own. This disease was at first, debilitating. Now, eventually he underwent treatment and is doing very well on a small dose of medication.
However, his recovery would not have been possible without his own nurturing of inner strength (both mental and physical). Through caring for his spirit and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, my friend was very much able to shield his true self from the damaging effects of sudden misfortune.

So, when you find yourself faced with an unexpected brick wall, saddle up and ride out that challenge and know all along that the power to overcome such adverse circumstances is always there. It’s up to you to tap into the fortitude of the human spirit.

Surrendering the things of youth

Our guest blogger for this portion of the Desiderata Project is my lovely wife, Brooke. Thanks, honey!

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

I was at a birthday party a few weeks ago for a little girl who was turning five. Her mom (our friend) had turned the backyard into a western jamboree, Nothing over the top, but planned with care and lots of fun. The kids were shooting at plastic bottles with water guns, trying to knock them over. They were pinning the sheriff star on their daddies. I looked around at us…not the preschool kids, but the parents. Most of us are in our early thirties and employed in the education field, pretty much doing what we love. We have a couple of kids, mortgages and health plans. Ten years ago, we were all still in college—finding our passion, meeting our partners, staying up till 3 AM on a regular basis laughing with our friends. And it occurs to me that there are many “best years” of your life. 

I think  people cling to “youth” because hey are afraid it will mean the end of the best years of their life. But, actually, by clinging to the things they have outgrown, they are missing out on the next “best” thing.

Surrendering the things of youth doesn’t mean growing old or un-hip or any of the other things our youth-obsessed society tells us. All of us at that birthday party? We were having a good time, cracking jokes…and not one of us was has “let ourselves go” or was wearing “Mom Jeans.” (I’m not saying having a baby means you automatically gracefully surrender the things of youth. There are many parents who haven’t, and there are many people without children who have.)

What it does mean is that you have decided you are ready for more—to love more deeply, to give more freely, to understand more and judge less. You are ready to listen. To sacrifice. To see a bigger picture. To be forever young, but without the self-absorption of adolescence, the impatience of childhood and the neediness of babyhood. To be the one shooting a water gun along side your kids, feeling your heart swelling with love as you watch them sing “Happy Birthday,” helping to clean up the cake and ice cream, and carrying the two year old out saying, ”Okay, you’re getting tired now.” And that’s only as far as I’ve gotten. But as I continue on this journey, I know I will need to continue to surrender…  to not mourn the passing of the years, but to look forward to what it ahead…the next best years.