Kiss Your Brain

Eva has introduced us to a new phrase that she learned in Kindergarten:

“Kiss your brain!”

When you come up with a good idea or do something smart, you’re supposed to kiss your brain to thank it.  You put your hand to your lips like you’re about to blow a kiss, but instead you put the kiss on your hand and deliver it to the top of your noggin. This will show your brain that you appreciate its hard work, so it’ll want to keep working for you.

Have you kissed your brain lately?

There was a good post over at Fun Spirit recently about using puzzles and games to challenge your brain. This might be a good way to give your brain a little kiss. Let it do something fun! I believe that we bloggers kiss our brains all the time, stretching our creativity by writing and challenging ourselves with the new ideas written by our colleagues online.

Let’s challenge ourselves to stay mentally fit in the new year.

The Ties That Bind

When my daughter Eva was born, I remember being so amazed at how quickly I could love her so completely. From the first time I saw her and touched her sticky newborn skin, I knew that my life would never be the same. I was reminded of The Grinch and felt that my “heart grew three sizes that day!”

I was worried in the days leading up to Eli’s birth that things might be different.  What if I didn’t immediately bond with him the way I had with Eva?  What if my life was already “full enough” and I wouldn’t be able to make room for him?  Luckily for him, the process repeated itself.  I loved him from the start, which made it a little bit easier to deal with his crankypants attitude in his early months of life.

Who knew that the same thing could happen with a dog?  We recently adopted Maisy, this beautiful three year old Sheltie mix.  A friend at church said something interesting before we adopted her, that having “outside dogs” was just not the same as having an “inside dog.”  I had outside dogs as a boy, but never a pet inside the house… well, other than fish and a gerbil.  She said that an inside dog quickly becomes a member of the family. I thought that this was just a cute way of referring to your pet.

I’ve realized however, that Maisy is essentially like a third child.  Thursday evening she started making this awful choking/coughing/hacking sound that was really horrible.  It can only be described as this “big piece of something painful stuck in the hroat” and I was truly afraid that she was going to die. She was so pitiful with her little sides convulsing so much with each cough. She wasn’t moving around much, and when she did it only produced worse fits of coughing.

In no time, we were scouring the Yellow Pages looking for some kind of after-hours emergency vet. Listening to her over the phone, the diagnosed her with Kennel Cough and made an appointment for the next day. In the meantime we were to give her Robitussin.

But there we were, ready to rush Maisy off to the emergency room just as we have with Eva (but surprisingly not with Eli… knock on wood).  Obviously, I’m not saying that I love Maisy as much as I love my kids.  I am saying that I’m surprised at how quickly and how deeply we’ve bonded with her as a member of the family.

Now if only I could wrap all of my children’s medicine in a piece of cheese and have them take it so easily…

Surround yourself with positive people

This is a guest post from my wife, Brooke. We had a conversation about this and I encouraged her to write about it for this blog. Thanks, honey!

This does not mean to surround yourself with people who don’t have any problems.

For example, on New Year’s Eve, I was at a party with a friend who recently lost her father. I hadn’t seen her since she had traveled to the funeral. When she talked about it, she teared up. I hugged her. There was that moment where I didn’t know what to say, but it passed. We started laughing about good times she had with her dad and then just laughing about funny stuff that was happening at the party. Another friend was there, whose in-laws recently moved closer because of a health crisis. She has added a lot of shuttling to and from the doctor’s office and the nursing home to her already full plate. We talked about her new concerns, but mostly we talked about our kids…and got cracked up a lot.

Then, today, I was at Target, picking up the strange Target-esque hodge-podge of organic milk and laundry detergent; Spiderman underwear and a really cute melamine valentine plate I couldn’t pass up. As I headed toward the check-out, I saw a woman I know from an organization I am a part of. She is often outspoken, rarely happy and always stressed out. Because of the outspoken part, I know she doesn’t like to run in to people at the store and have to talk. So, I smiled as I walked past her and decided she could initiate the conversation if she wanted to. She did. I asked her how she was doing. She sighed. “Oh, you know, crazy. I’m doing this. Then I have to go to Wal-Mart and Sams.” I was waiting for the “crazy” part. She was without her two kids, so those didn’t really seem like insurmountable tasks, but you wouldn’t know it from her tone. My response to the same question was of course, “fine!” I asked her how Christmas had been. “Oh, a whirl. You know. The kids got more toys. They don’t need more toys.” To her credit, when she finished her Christmas tirade, she did ask me about my appendectomy. She had seen me at our last meeting but I was “mobbed” with people around me and she was “in a hurry.” I assured her I was fine. Then, let her get back to her shopping.

Now, some folks would say she was just honest. But, if that’s true…and shopping is really that much of an effort, well, that’s just sad. Why would you want to be honest about that? And some folks would say, “what’s the point of asking a person how they are if they just say ‘fine’ no matter what?” Well, I recall another time at Target when I saw someone who asked me how I was doing and I honestly answered, “Um, I just had my appendix out” because I was sitting by the pharmacy with cotton balls and medical tape running up my arm. But, what casual acquaintance really wants to know that I have a gyn appointment next week? Or that actually it was kind of a bummer that the latches on the Mazda’s rear doors were recalled so we had to take it in for those which were free but it turned out we also needed two new tires which were not free? Now, my friends that I was laughing with on New Year’s Eve…they might be interested. Because it could probably lead to a funny story.

So, I inwardly shook my head that some folks can be so consistently negative and continued to the check-out. I do feel sorry for people who don’t seem to get any enjoyment out of life. If only they could realize how good they have it! How sad for them! But, no where in the Good Book does it say I have to surround myself with those people. I choose people who have problems, real problems…and a positive outlook and great sense of humor to go with them.

Always My Bubby

Last night, while I was driving my kids around, Eva was in the back seat sort of “monologuing” as she does sometimes. She got on the topic of having a brother:

“Everybody should have a brother or sister. It’s nice.  If they don’t have a brother or sister, they don’t know how fun it is. I love my little brother.”

At this, Eli and his mature two-year-old sensibilities piped up.

ELI:  (indignant) My not little! My getting bigger! My grow up some day!

EVA:  But you’ll still by my little brother.

ELI:  My not little! My big!

EVA: Noooo. You’ll always be my Bubby.

She so rarely calls him “Bubby.” It was one of those precious moments that I just had to take a little mental snapshot of.

Tradition Mission Accomplished

Last week, I wrote about the importance of cultivating traditions in our family.  For those who may be wondering how The Great Christmas Tree Sleepover Experiment went, I am happy to report that it was a resounding success!

I got our tree put up during the Macy’s parade, which the kids watched on the couch while Brooke fixed some Thanksgiving side dishes.  (The new Hello Kitty and Shrek baloons this year were the perfect hook for those two!)  By the way, don’t ever bother with CBS’s coverage of the parade. They started a bit earlier, but it almost seems like a bunch of kids with camcorders who aren’t really supposed to be at the event. There’s too much of a sense of “I can’t believe we’re getting away with this!” to the coverage.  Not to mention the strange use of Neil Patrick Harris for the second year in a row.  Last year he did nothing but complain about how cold it was. This year, he made inappropriate remarks about what happens to cheerleaders when it gets cold outside. Let’s not invite Doogie back again next year, OK?  Anyway, stick with NBC’s “official” coverage of the parade.

I digress. The sleepover began with the kids each receiving three gifts.  They each got new pajamas, fleece blankets hand-tied by Mommy, and an ornament to put on the tree.  As you can see, they were pretty pleased with themselves.

They spent a good amount of time admiring the tree and all of the ornaments.  When it was bedtime, they each selected a Christmas story book and then snuggled in to their little nests.  And with Ma on the couch and I on my air mattress, we all settled in for a long winter’s nap.

Living More Fully: Traditions

One of the reasons that I wanted to start this blog was to focus on enjoying life and accentuating the positive aspects of my life. I don’t claim to be any expert in this, and I certainly don’t want to pretend that I am some blissed-out guru who walks around in a state of uphoria every minute of the day. Instead, I’m just someone who wants to cultivate a more positive outlook on life.

I’m very happy to have found fellow bloggers who are trying to do the exact same thing. I was recently tagged by Jean Browman to write about Living More Fully. Thanks for the invitation, Jean.

One practice that’s helping me enjoy life to the fullest is developing traditions with my family. Brooke and I love the holidays and we want to continue to find ways to make them even more special for us and our kids.

This year, we are excited to try out a new idea at Thanksgiving. To take advantage of the fact that we’re not traveling any more, we plan to put up our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving day. While tripped-out on tryptophan, we plan to deck our halls. The new tradition that we’re going to try is a Christmas Camp Out. After decorating the tree, we’re going to pull out some blankets and pillows and try sleeping with the kids in the living room under the lit Christmas tree.

This sounds so cozy and warm. I’m imagining my delighted children all snuggled up in blankets, talking about the excitement of the holiday season. We’ll read stories, sing songs, maybe even watch a holiday cartoon or two. I’ll watch their sweet faces illuminated by the twinkling lights as we all drift off to sleep, while visions of sugarplums will dance in our heads.

That’s my fantasy.

Or, the kids might not be into it at all. Maybe they’ll be cranky. Maybe they’ll be too excited to sleep. Maybe we won’t get the decorating done in time. The floor may not be that comfortable. The blinking lights might keep me awake. They’ll probably get up way too early, thinking that there should be presents under the tree.

If I allowed all of the “what ifs” to derail these plans, I wouldn’t be living life to the fullest. How often do we allow the negative soundtrack of our doubts to drown out the beautiful symphony of possibility?

“Live the life you’ve imagined,” Thoreau advises. I am thankful that I’ve accepted that guidance in the past. I’ve had some great experiences as the result of it. When I think about living life to the fullest, I believe it’s one of our greatest strategies.

To Do To Make Tomorrow Better

1. Play a song that I know all the words to. Sing loudly.
2. Wear a fun pair of socks. If I can’t find a fun pair, mismatch.
3. Don’t listen to or watch the news. The world will go on without me.
4. Look for something beautiful on my way to work.
5. Doodle when I should be listening.
6. Dance a little bit.
7. Compliment five people. Mean it each time.
8. Smile at people who aren’t smiling.
9. Find some crayons. Color.
10. Laugh at something. Even if I really shouldn’t think it’s that funny.

“I wish every day was like Saturday.”

I love it when we get to enjoy a relaxing weekend at home.  Yesterday, we were sitting around the kitchen table eating toast and cereal, while taking a break from watching “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.”  We were all still in our PJ’s and had no major items on our agenda for the day. My daughter, who’d slept in after a particularly exhausting week, sighed happily.

“I wish every day was like Saturday.”

While we probably wouldn’t get much done if that were the case, it was a nice observation.  It’s so important to have a break from the “busy-ness.”  One of the things that I am grateful for in our family is that we haven’t over-scheduled ourselves as much as some of our peers have.  My daughter has dance one night a week, but that’s our only “extra-curricular” activity.  (Can we call it that for kindergartners and pre-schoolers?)  It’s amazing how much I hear people complain about having to take their kids to soccer, gymnastics, piano, etc.  I always think “aren’t you the one that signed them up for that?”

I’m grateful for the rest, and hoping that all of you were able to relax and recharge a little bit this weekend.

What did you do?

Leave your light on

Halloween has come and gone.  My kids have a huge stash of candy in the kitchen to prove it.  I know I greeted at least sixty trick or treaters at our door, because that’s how many treat bags my wife made and they are all gone.  I had a wonderful time watching the kids bumble up and down our driveway to ring the doorbell.  Some of them said “trick or treat,” others simply held up their bags.  Some just stood there.  But no matter how they greeted me, I had a good time proffering the treats.

Our neighborhood becomes a perfect storm of action on Halloween.  There are so many young families around here, so all of those kids spill out onto the streets with their parents.  Someone is invariably left behind at each house to “man the fort,” so up and down our streets almost every house has their porch lights on, like little lighthouses calling out to the sugar junkies.

Here there be candy.

I always wonder about those houses that are dark on Halloween. I always hope that they are grandparents who’ve gone to grandchildren’s homes for the evening.  Maybe they are folks at a Halloween party or they are off at a haunted house.  I hope that no one’s inside, hunkered down in the dark, just choosing to let the fun pass them by.  It might cost a little bit to pick up a couple bags of fun-sized Snickers at the grocery store, but isn’t it worth it?

Here’s to leaving your light on, not just on Halloween, but all year through.  Leave yourself open to the possibilities that each day has to offer.  Don’t close yourself off or limit yourself in any way.  Stay engaged and see what might come your way!

Photo from Ryan-o on Flickr

Victory!

They have a right to brag. After all, check out that huge slide they just climbed to the very top of and went down all by themselves.

“WE DID IT!”

What goal can you achieve this week? Do you have something that you’ve been waiting to accomplish? Maybe you can look just as happy as they do if you put your mind to it.

I know that I’ve got a busy week ahead and the thought of my “to do” list is a little daunting. But hopefully I will be as triumphant as these two when it’s all done.